Settling in the Netherlands Longer Term
Welcome to Ruth's Corner, a monthly column curated by our helpdesk professional Ruth to share with you her experience and expertise! This month it's all about settling in the Netherlands long term.
Settling in the Netherlands Longer Term
This final chapter of my settling-in journey is about finding my way regarding normal everyday things and the experiences that helped me settle into life for the longer term.
Living in Your Own Culture
When you live in your own culture, finding your way is relatively easy—you know where things are and you know how things work. But when you move to a new country it can feel a little bit like you are wearing the wrong type of lenses in your glasses. In the early days, everything appears a bit blurred and you don’t know where anything is, and you scramble to find basic things. This was certainly my experience and it can leave you struggling to connect with the culture.
The longer you are somewhere, this starts to change, you begin to find your way, either through someone else or you find things out for your yourself. Slowly your vision starts to clear, your confidence grows, and eventually, you might even find yourself being able to help someone else. You also begin to gain a sense of belonging more, which can bring a lot of comfort.
A Few Things that Helped Me
Letting Go of High Expectations
I tend to set very high expectations for myself. As I mentioned previously, when I first moved to Leiden, I wanted to integrate quickly and avoid interacting with people from my own culture or language. I thought I should be able to learn Dutch easily and adapt fast. How wrong I was!
I had to learn to lower those expectations and give myself permission to do things like join English-speaking groups and choose activities that interested me—whether they were in Dutch or English. It sounds obvious now, but when you're in the middle of the situation, it's hard to see that your expectations might not be realistic. I'm getting better at this, but it's still an ongoing process.
Joined a Pilates class in English
With the lower expectations in mind, I saw an advert for an English-speaking Pilates class in Leiden. I joined—and eight years later, I still attend. I met a wonderful teacher (now a friend) and built great relationships with the people who attended. I enjoyed the fact that I did not have to listen hard or try and understand what was being said, because it was in my own language and that gave me a place where I could relax and just enjoy the exercise and the relationships.
I Learnt Dutch
When I first arrived in Leiden, my Dutch vocabulary consisted of a few useful words—like wasmachine (washing machine) and onderbroek (underpants). But I needed to learn how to use these words in actual sentences so I started taking lessons.
I started with the Dutch Integration course, which was free at the time. It didn’t teach me a huge number of new words, but it gave me insight into Dutch culture and how things worked. That helped me understand my new environment better. I later joined classes at the library, which improved my vocabulary and eventually, I started using it more in everyday life, getting a job at the International Centre and also working with colleagues who spoke Dutch also improved my confidence in speaking the language more fluently.
One of my proudest moments was switching to Dutch with a friend I’d always spoken English with. That felt like a real milestone.
Final Thoughts
- Keep your expectations realistic.
- Ask for help to find things or check out our website.
- Find your own new normal, do things that you enjoy and help you feel at home, whether they are in Dutch or your own language.
- If you plan to stay long term, consider a Dutch language course even if when you try to speak Dutch the person answers in English, keep going.
- From time to time check on your progress, see how far you’ve come and encourage yourself with just how much more you know now than you did when you first arrived.
Daily Resources
Leiden International Centre’s website has lots of useful links regarding finding daily essential information. Here are a few helpful topics to explore:
How do I deal with my household waste, what goes where?
What to consider when buying a bike
Why do we have sirens sound on the first of the month – should I find a shelter????
Need some other information?
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