Settling in the Netherlands Longer Term

October 27, 2025 | Leiden International Centre

Welcome to Ruth's Corner, a monthly column curated by our helpdesk professional Ruth to share with you her experience and expertise! This month it's all about settling in the Netherlands long term.

Finding Your Feet in the Netherlands - A Long-Term Perspective

Living in Your Own Culture

When I lived in my own culture, finding my way was easy—I knew where things were and I knew how things worked.But when I moved to the Netherlands, it felt a bit like I was wearing the wrong type of lenses in my glasses. Everything appeared slightly blurred, and I didn’t know where anything was. I scrambled to find even the most basic things. This experience left me struggling to connect with my new surroundings.

As time went on, things began to change. I started to find my way in Leiden— sometimes through connections I had made, and sometimes by figuring things out on my own. Slowly, my lenses began to clear. I found my confidence grew, and I started to feel connected again. It wasn’t easy at times, but the more I discovered about living here, the more I felt like I was beginning to belong.

I found things that reminded me of the UK, but I also came to appreciate the new things I discovered here. Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar. Maybe you’re further along now and have found yourself helping someone else navigate their own journey.

A Few Things That Helped Me

Letting Go of High Expectations

I tend to set very high expectations for myself. As I mentioned in my previous blogs, when I first moved to Leiden, I wanted to integrate quickly and avoid interacting with people from my own culture or language. I thought I should be able to learn Dutch easily and adapt fast. How wrong I was!

I had to learn to lower those expectations and give myself permission to do things like join English-speaking groups and choose activities that interested me—whether they were in Dutch or English. It sounds obvious now, but when you're in the middle of the situation, it's hard to see that your expectations might not be realistic. I'm getting better at this, but it's still an ongoing process.

Joined a Pilates Class in English

With this in mind, I saw an advert for an English-speaking Pilates class in Leiden. I joined—and eight years later, I still attend. I met a wonderful teacher (now a friend) and built great relationships with the other regulars. I enjoyed the fact that I did not have to listen hard or try and understand what was being said, because it was in my own language and that gave me a place where I could relax and just enjoy the exercise and the relationships.

I Learned Dutch

When I first arrived in Leiden, my Dutch vocabulary consisted of a few useful words—like wasmachine (washing machine) and onderbroek (underpants). But I needed to learn how to use these words in actual sentences so I started taking lessons.

I started with the Dutch Inburgering course, which was free at the time. It didn’t teach me a huge number of new words, but it gave me insight into Dutch culture and how things worked. That helped me understand my new environment better. I later joined classes at the library, which improved my vocabulary and eventually, I started using it more in everyday life, getting a job at the International Centre and also working with colleagues who spoke Dutch also improved my confidence in speaking the language more fluently.

It did take a few years but one of my proudest moments was switching to Dutch with a friend I’d always spoken English with. That felt like a real milestone.

Final Thoughts

Just a few last points to leave with you.

Keep your expectations realistic.
Ask for help to find things or check out our website.
Find your own new normal, do things that you enjoy and help you feel at home, whether they are in Dutch or your own language.
If you plan to stay long term, consider a Dutch language course even if when you try to speak Dutch the person answers in English, keep going.
From time to time check on your progress, see how far you’ve come and encourage yourself with just how much more you know now than you did when you first arrived.

Daily Resources

Leiden International Centre’s website has lots of useful links regarding finding daily essential information. Here are a few helpful topics to explore:

Need some other information?

Get in touch via: helpdesk@leideninternationalcentre.nl, Instagram or Facebook