When "I'm Fine" Doesn't Tell the Whole Story

How employers can recognize pressure earlier and better support international employees

International employees often bring enormous resilience to the workplace. They have moved countries, adapted to a different culture, built new networks and learned how to navigate a new working environment sometimes in a language that isn't their own.

From the outside, they may appear to be coping very well. But that doesn't necessarily mean everything is fine.

During my 17 years working in HR, I saw how easily the early signs of prolonged stress could be missed. By the time an employee went on long-term sick leave, the situation had rarely appeared overnight. Looking back, there had often been smaller changes along the way.

Someone who was normally engaged became quieter in meetings. A reliable employee started working longer and longer hours. Someone who was usually positive became increasingly irritable or withdrawn. A high performer continued delivering, but at an increasingly high personal cost.

None of these things automatically means that someone is heading towards burnout. But changes in behavior, energy or working patterns can be a reason to start a conversation.

And for international employees, there may be additional pressures that aren't immediately visible at work.

The pressure we don't always see

Starting a life in another country involves much more than starting a new job.

There may be a new language to learn, unfamiliar cultural norms, administrative challenges, housing difficulties or a partner and children who are also trying to settle in. At work, even seemingly small differences can require additional energy.

How direct should I be with my manager? Is it acceptable to say that my workload is too high? Am I expected to speak up in meetings? What does my manager really mean when they give me this feedback?

An employee can therefore be performing well while simultaneously using a significant amount of energy simply adapting.

This doesn't mean employers need to solve every challenge their international employees experience. But it does make regular, meaningful conversations particularly important.

Four questions employers and managers can consider

1. Has something changed?

Rather than trying to identify whether someone is “stressed” or “burned out”, pay attention to changes.

Is someone communicating differently? Working significantly longer hours? Withdrawing from colleagues? Finding it harder to concentrate? Has their usual enthusiasm disappeared?

A change can be an invitation to check in.

2. Are we asking or assuming?

The employees who continue delivering can be particularly easy to overlook.

When someone is dependable and rarely complains, it's tempting to assume they're doing well. Instead of waiting for them to raise a problem, managers can create opportunities for more honest conversations.

Sometimes a simple “How are things really going for you at the moment?” can open a very different conversation from “Everything okay?”

3. Does it feel safe to say, “This is too much”?

Workplace culture matters.

If being committed is associated with always being available, taking on more work or never saying no, employees may hesitate to raise concerns about their workload.

Managers can help by talking openly about priorities, capacity and boundaries and by demonstrating those behaviors themselves.

4. Are there pressures connected to working internationally?

Not every challenge is about the job itself.

Ask rather than assume. An international employee may be dealing with uncertainty around settling in, cultural differences, language, family circumstances or simply the absence of the support network they had at home.

Understanding the wider context can help managers have better conversations about what support might actually be useful.

Prevention starts earlier than we think

Supporting employee wellbeing shouldn't begin when someone is already exhausted.

It can start much earlier: with awareness, conversations and practical tools that help people recognize pressure, protect their energy and develop healthier ways of working. This is also why I believe resilience at work isn't about teaching people to simply “cope better” with an unsustainable situation.

Organizations and employees both have a role to play.

Employees can become more aware of their own stress patterns, boundaries and sources of energy. Managers can create an environment where workload and wellbeing can be discussed before they become serious problems. And organizations can look at the working conditions that may be contributing to sustained pressure in the first place.

Sometimes the most valuable question isn't: “How do we help people recover from burnout?”

It is: “What conversations could we be having earlier?”

About the author

Aneta Kantarowska is a certified Career Coach and former HR professional with 17 years of experience supporting employees and managers through workplace challenges.

Through Kanta Clarity Coaching, she supports professionals with career development and works with organizations through practical, interactive workshops on resilience, employee wellbeing and sustainable performance. Each workshop is tailored to the organization's specific challenges, culture and objectives.

Interested in exploring a workshop for your organization? Connect with Aneta on LinkedIn or contact her at aneta@kantaclaritycoaching.com