3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Make a Positive Change in Your Life

| Rooted in Calm

Falling leaves and shorter days signal the arrival of autumn. The freedom of summer is firmly behind you and as you look at your packed agenda you are wondering what is going to give. It seems like there is more to do than ever and left you feeling like you can't catch your breath.

If this post-pandemic fall has you wanting to fast forward to 2023, maybe it is time to consider some positive changes you can make in your life.

Here are three simple questions to ask yourself:

Where am I?

Yes, Leiden, I know. If you expand beyond the place you are living, take stock of everything going on in your life right now. Be brutally honest, what does your day-to-day life look like, what do you look like, and what special dynamics does your ex-pat life entail?

You have to get frank with yourself, so you are crystal clear about where you are embarking on this journey of change, and how you can go about it.

What do I want?

This is tricky, it is often hard to identify what you actually want. Start simple, what would be ideal if you could accomplish it before the end of the year? Consider using the GROW model to support your goal setting.

Be candid with yourself, how much time can you take to dedicate to this goal?

If you get on a sprinter train it will still take you from Leiden to Amsterdam, but it will take a whole lot longer than if you got on the intercity.


What purpose does what you want to serve? Hint, think about how you want to feel.

This is what will motivate you, so it must be solid and aligned with your values. Connecting to your purpose is deeply personal and can be elusive, be kind and willing to iterate several times until you are certain.

Do you want to be a person that wants to do something, or do you want to be the person that does that thing? There is a strong distinction that James Clear denotes in his book Atomic Habits, a great read to help you get started with incremental change.

This is not Instagram, this is real life and it is a shame to live for tomorrow when you could be happy today. This article is brought to you by Allyson Kukel, the founder of Rooted in Calm. Allyson is a Transformational Coach specializing in motivation, confidence, and resilience. She is passionate about supporting Expats in taking control of their mental and physical health.

For more, check out this upcoming event hosted by Allyson on understanding your communication style and getting from tips to keep your cool in stressful situations.